A SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY

This week Q is growing, which means she eats more than me (instead of just the same amount) and she sleeps in.
Instead of the usual 5.32am wake-up call, we've been rising at the dignified hour of 7, sometimes 7.14, once even 8am!!!
Of course, I don't use this time to enjoy a coffee in peace instead of gulping it in between shovelling spoonfuls of warmed weetbix into Q's mouth, no instead I sneak peeks into her cot every 30 seconds as a sleep-in is so rare, I fear the worst.

Now, when you're going to bed at 12.30 (that's what happens when you're opening a restaurant and co-owner of a 16 month old) waking up at 5.32 hurts.
It just hurts. Your brain, your gritty eyes, your soul.

And come 2pm that afternoon I have hit such a state of desperation, the only substance capable of dragging me through till 12.30 that night is sugar.
Sugar in all its nasty unrecommended by the Department of No-Fun forms.
Cookies, chocolate, Nutella straight from the jar, my world famous microwave brownie.

I'm not that fussy really. Just give me sugar with a hot cup of decaf tea while my tornado girl takes a brief break from life and I can carry on.

Now, I have made an interesting discovery over the past three days of extra sleep...
I don't need the 2pm sugar hit. It appears that more sleep decreases the need for sugar.

And by 'need', I mean need in a manner so intense, I've been known to break into my landlord's house and steal his eggs so I can make afore mentioned brownie if he's not home to ask. (I replace said eggs as soon as possible, and for the record, our landlord is a family friend so the boundaries are rather blurred. Let's just say he drops in for tea, wearing his dressing gown having just gotten out of the shower. Whether or not he is dressed underneath that dressing gown is a mystery I wish never to solve).

So now I'm in a quandary.
I have such a serious 2-dessert a day habit, that suddenly forgoing one portion, would cause such a disruption to my system, I fear a complete and utter productivity meltdown.

With a restaurant to open and a 16month old to wrangle, that, my friends, is just not an option.

And so, after great thought and consideration I announce my intent to continue my 2-dessert habit, as the side-effects are just too massive and all encompassing to contemplate.

Change only happens when you're ready to tackle the problem, and I ain't ready. Not by a long shot.

I can hear all you celery eating yogis out there shaking your organically shampooed hair and scolding;
He who rejects change is the architect of decay.


Yeah? Well, the only thing I'm decaying is my teeth people.
And right now, that seems like a small price to pay.

IF YOU'RE BREASTFEEDING, DON'T READ THIS.

There is no blog today because yesterday nearly did me in and today I underestimated the walk from the bus stop to my parents place, and sweated for twenty-five minutes pushing Q uphill in her chariot in the blazing midday sun.
And all I can think of is brownie.
My world famous chocolate brownie.
So I whipped it up and am about to eat it all piece by piece by piece.
And you too can whip it up because I'm going to share the recipe with you below.
But I warn you, don't try this if you're breastfeeding.
Because one taste of this delicious lifesaver at 3 o'clock in the afternoon when your eyeballs are hurting with the effort to even stay in their sockets, and you'll be hooked.
It's like a defibrillator. It will bring you back to life in 4 minutes or less. Guaranteed.

NAOMI'S WORLD FAMOUS CHOCOLATE BROWNIE
1 cup sugar
120g butter
2 eggs
1dash of vanilla
1/2 cup flour
1/2 cup cocoa

Melt butter, beat eggs, wack in a bowl with everything else.
Mix.
Pour into a small-ish dish that you've lined with paper.
4 mins in the microwave
And there you have it.
Your life is saved.
But remember, don't blame me when you find yourself making it every single afternoon.
I did warn you.

These are not mine.
 Mine are way better but I don't have the
cord to connect to the computer.

FAT ATTACKS AND EATING YOUR FEELINGS

Can you buy a frozen cheesecake and an apple crumble please? Orders my husband as I head out the door to pick up some milk.

Why do we need two desserts?

To balance each other out.

Have you ever heard such logic?

Gregory is what I like to call a feeling eater.

He eats his feelings.            

The amount of fat and sugar involved in his meals is inversely proportional to his level of contentment.

That is, the more distressed he is, the more he eats.

He calls them fat attacks.

Packets of chips downed in a second, chased by a couple of icy beers, accompanied by cheese and crackers, followed with a huge carb and meat-heavy meal and rounded off with not one, but two desserts.

Throw in a bottle of wine and perhaps a whiskey or two as a nightcap and I just know what you’re all secretly thinking.

Don’t worry, I think it out loud.

It drives him crazy.

Well it would wouldn’t it? If you were busy indulging in your third piece of Sara Lee cheesecake and your wife is busy destroying it by harping on about strokes, diabetes, heart attacks and blood clots.

That’s right, I can ruin a good meal better than Jenny Craig any day.

Oh, excuse me, must be off, I can hear the kettle boiling.

Time for a cup of tea and a big fat piece of brownie.

These aren't mine, they're a pic from photobucket.
I am anti-nuts as a general rule.

Oh, don’t look at me like that, I’m a breastfeeding mother. I can justify anything.