Parenting is surrounded by
buzzwords these days.
Honestly, if you saw an ad
looking for a kid in the Herald, you wouldn’t apply for quids.
It’d read something like
this:
Seeking young human.
Primary care from external source accepted, but ability to grasp concept of
self-sufficiency highly desired.
Must be capable across a
range of disciplines including independent play, structured learning, language
recognition and development, child socialisation and more.
It's all a touch much for this mama.
And yet still I get caught
up amongst it, fretting I’m not exposing my child to a wide enough range of
influences and experiences.
‘Am I doing enough?’ I
ponder aloud to my father the other day as we watch Q entertain herself with
the recycling box. ‘Should I be obsessively trying to get her to clap? It was a
milestone months ago but Q is yet to show any interest in it, or sit still long
enough for me to show her how.’
‘Imagine if everything she
knows is because it was shown to her,’ replies my ever sensible father. ‘What about
discovery? I prefer things to be caught not taught.’
Caught not taught.
I like it.
Caught not taught.
Discover don’t dictate.
Or as some people would no
doubt call it…
Lazy parenting.
If you’re down with this
method, read on.
If not, better scurry off to enrol your super-human in a cross-stitch
course taught in Indonesian, squashed in between learning to swim and music appreciation class.
·
supervised play –
throw your kid in the pram, stop off for the ever important takeaway coffee,
meet likeminded primary carers in the park, turf the kids onto the grass and
let ‘em have at it. Bonus points if you don’t stop them eating dirt. Because if
that’s not an excellent way to discover the distinct lack of nutritional value
in soil well then, I don’t know what is.
·
child socialisation –
aka hang out with your family and get them to watch Q while you take advantage
of having two arms and make yourself a cup of tea.
·
Independent play –
plonk ‘em in the middle of the floor and see what they do. Bear in mind they’ll
likely ignore the box of toys and head straight for the power cords, vase of
flowers and wine bottles.
·
Language recognition and development – narrate everything with a really bad song. They
don’t care how bad it sounds, and since their language is still developing,
they can’t tell you even if they do.
·
Fine motor skills – dump
out the Tupperware drawer onto the floor while you’re preparing dinner. (Or
making 4 minute microwave brownies, whatever). Add a couple of tins of tuna and
a few saucepan lids to round out the selection and watch ‘em go. No specific
outcomes required.
·
Spatial awareness –
plop them on the ground while you’re hanging out the laundry and time how long
it takes them to find a Slater. Whether or not you let them eat said Slater is
up to you. (See above point about dirt).
Jury is still out as to
whether this laissez-faire attitude works or not.
Get back to me in another
thirty years or so, because really, the measure of your success as a parent is
really not determined until your child becomes an adult themselves.
Oh sure, some kids look
like they’re better on track than others, but whose to say those others aren’t
on their own path of self-discovery.
Forging a brave,
unchartered front, highly intellectualised and thought out, based equal parts on
instinct and laziness and without a single buzzword in sight.
Caught not taught people,
caught not taught.
