Bored while breastfeeding? Worry no more. Just read my list of handy anti-boredom activities and you’ll make it to the World Health Organisation’s recommendation of 24 months of breastfeeding no troubles at all.
1. Itemise and file your deductable receipts month by month so that come tax time you don’t want to stab yourself in the eyeball with your felt tip pen. (This is a current anguish I am experiencing).
2. Sing the entire score of every Rodgers and Hammerstein musical to your baby, paying careful attention to the accent of the King in The King And I.
3. Read the stack of Spectrum and Sunday Life magazines you’ve been saving since March this year and finally get up to date on now out of date books and movies.
4. Watch The Breakfast Club and Twenty One Jump Street and reminisce about how you were glued to them while you were meant to be studying for your final school exams.
5. Stare at the gorgeous creature you created and marvel at yours’ and your partner’s clever-ness.
6. Type – one handed - the novel you were meant to write while you were growing your little human, but somehow ran out of time.
7. Do your pelvic floor exercises because the midwives have scared you into thinking that if you don’t, your going to be walking around one day and your uterus will just fall right out of you.
8. Watch late-night infomercials. Truly people, they can be fascinating. I’ve been known to unwind from a show by sitting in front of the tv and watching people sell jewelry, unable to go to bed until I get to see their face.
9. Write a list of jobs your partner could do to help you out. For example, putting on a load of washing doesn’t count. Hanging it out, however, is how you earn brownie points.
10. See how many m and m’s you can consume in one breastfeed. You can come up with compulsory colour patterns to really add to the challenge if you like.