Monday, January 9, 2012


Small business owners have big balls.
Metaphorically speaking.
Anatomically speaking too I suppose, but that’s not a research project I’m interested in pursuing at the moment.
This startling revelation is one of many I’ve made this year, and it’s only January 10th.
I don’t know what animal it is in Chinese tradition, but for me it is year of the owl. By year’s end I shall be wise beyond my quickly advancing years.
Small business owners have big balls metaphorically speaking because…well, because, quite frankly, they have a lot of shit to do.
G and I are eyeball deep in opening budgets and 12 month projection plans and all I keep wanting to project is a long holiday on the beach.
And we haven’t even opened yet.
There is a lot to consider.
And a lot you don’t want to consider but you have to because it’s the law.
And still more that you do want to consider but you can’t because your budget has been eaten up considering things because they are the law.
It is a very tricky business this small business gig.
And people thought being a performer was hard.
Let's be honest, I got paid to pretend to be someone else. I wandered about a stage, every now and then I sang a song about my imaginary circumstances and just to round the whole thing off, I might have done a bit of a tap dance usually dressed in sequins and somebody else’s hair.
Comparatively speaking, that was as easy as a kick-ball-change.
Further revelations as they have come to me this year include but are not limited to:
·               People in business dealings pretend to be nice but really they just want what they want and bugger the rest of you.
·               It is very obvious to these people that I am naïve and destructively honest.
·               Restaurants are very expensive things to set up.
·               It is much easier to spend money than it is to make it.
·               Outsource what you don’t know and pay the professionals to deal with it. This is particularly valuable regarding legal matters where you did a dud photocopy and are missing key pages.
·               Chefs are creators. Living with one is like living with Picasso, but hopefully you’re his only wife.
·               Butcher’s paper and to-do lists will save you. They will always save you.
·               Ask your friends if they know people in the fields you need. You’d be surprised how many Kevin Bacons you actually know.
For these tips on small business and many more, stay tuned.
I may not have one yet, but that is a mere technicality.
As Jonathon Swift said, ‘vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others’.
Welcome to 2012 people. As Sydney City Council told us on New Year's Eve, 
DARE TO DREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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