Thursday, November 11, 2010


“Are you a natural redhead?” asked the woman in the shoe shop. I nodded my reply. “You’d better be careful then. Redheads have difficulty clotting. I nearly bled out and had to have three transfusions when I gave birth.”
WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? What part of someone’s brain thinks; ‘gee, this woman looks ready to pop. I could':
a/ignore her pregnant state since she is a total stranger and I’ll never see her again in my entire life anyway.
b/offer words of encouragement, or tell her she looks great even if she more accurately resembles a bloated, puffy, fluid retaining whale or
c/consider scaring her stupid with my tale of childbirth, which is slightly embellished because I’ve already told her how I’m still harbouring some resentment over having to give up a career in marketing to be closer and more accessible to the kids who caused me to haemorrhage in the first place.
I know, I’ll pick c.
My husband calls me a conversation igniter and while sympathetic to my experience, feels that if I could just stop encouraging the dialogue and shut people down before they got going, I wouldn’t end up in these conversations in the first place.
But who says things like that anyway I ask you? Have they no sensibilities at all? 
Some of my friends have opined that as it is most likely the single and greatest endurance event these women have ever been through, they feel the need to relive their glory (or gory) day with anyone in or about to join the club. 
Now I’m not dismissing the difficulty of this upcoming activity, in fact, all these horror stories are beginning to destroy my optimism that I will make it through at all, but I would just like to point out that over 75% of women in the world give birth completely unassisted and with no medical support whatsoever. 
Although, on closer consideration, I’ll have to find that statistic again, because now I’m not sure if it had a clause about redheads…


  1. Oh seems this is just the way to motherhood. Almost like a rite of passage....survive the trials of random strangers and their less than thoughtful conversations and you can survive what is to come - soooooon!

    Don't doubt yourself, you have trained for a marathon, danced and sang and fought pain and tiredness regularly prior to this can do it, you of all people have the mental strength to get through. I can't wait!

    I agree with Gregory - you are a conversation igniter. Though I'd like to ignite a conversation of a decent length with you before you are a mama. Maybe tonight if the peanut timetable allows. mwah!

  2. tonight it is dear aunt of mine. call whenever. yes, he calls me a conversation igniter and then a conversation enabler and i'll concede he's probably right but i think i may shut these people down until the peanut arrives and then i will have my own gory story to tell and terrify others with...ha ha ha

  3. wow - you have heard more interesting stories than anyone else I know during your pregnancy.
    However, if you take everything you have heard and put it into a book you may have a bestseller on your hands?? :)

  4. Hello Nome,
    I roared laughing at this one...what some people believe is "acceptable" comments/conversation with complWete strangers boggles the mind!! The comment about Gregory saying you should "shut these people down" is right out of the Llewellyn idiomatic language. I can just hear Greg, Luke, Zach...saying exactly the same thing...shut 'em down, Nome!!!
    Give them the boot and leave them in your dust!

    We are waiting anxiously for the peanut's arrival...continuing to pray for your safe delivery and the peanut's health too.
    Much love,

  5. thank you ladies - kylea...a book you say? i'd love to, gotta find that 'unique angle' as they say in the publishing world. i might think i'm the first, but apparently other women have had babies before me!
    frannie - yes, gregory has less sympathy for me the more these stories compile, because after i ignite he reckons i'm then a conversation enabler, so i've really got no one to blame but myself!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...