Can you buy a frozen cheesecake and an apple crumble please? Orders my husband as I head out the door to pick up some milk.
Why do we need two desserts?
To balance each other out.
Have you ever heard such logic?
Gregory is what I like to call a feeling eater.
He eats his feelings.
The amount of fat and sugar involved in his meals is inversely proportional to his level of contentment.
That is, the more distressed he is, the more he eats.
He calls them fat attacks.
Packets of chips downed in a second, chased by a couple of icy beers, accompanied by cheese and crackers, followed with a huge carb and meat-heavy meal and rounded off with not one, but two desserts.
Throw in a bottle of wine and perhaps a whiskey or two as a nightcap and I just know what you’re all secretly thinking.
Don’t worry, I think it out loud.
It drives him crazy.
Well it would wouldn’t it? If you were busy indulging in your third piece of Sara Lee cheesecake and your wife is busy destroying it by harping on about strokes, diabetes, heart attacks and blood clots.
That’s right, I can ruin a good meal better than Jenny Craig any day.
Oh, excuse me, must be off, I can hear the kettle boiling.
Time for a cup of tea and a big fat piece of brownie.
|These aren't mine, they're a pic from photobucket. |
I am anti-nuts as a general rule.
Oh, don’t look at me like that, I’m a breastfeeding mother. I can justify anything.