In 5 sleeps time we will be boarding a plane bound for LA, then after a 2 day pit stop, will board another plane bound for that wonderful town, my old stomping ground, NYC.
With our 11 month-old daughter.
Our 11 month-old daughter who doesn’t even like to sit in the pram long enough for her mother to get her daily takeaway coffee. The daily coffee that helps her mother survive because by this time (7.30 in the morning) she has already been up for at least 2 hours.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH HER FOR FOURTEEN HOURS IN A FLYING TIN CAN?????
Don’t worry. I’ve been getting prepared.
I’ve bought countless snacks and squeezy food. Pear and lentils anyone?
I’ve never bought her packaged food before. Not because I’m an ultra-organic granola mum, but because I’m a tight arse. I can boil and puree my own food thank you very much.
Not sure Q will even go for it though as her independent streak means she’s been feeding herself since she first started to eat.
It also means every meal requires a stack hat and a drop sheet.
Neither of which is possible on a plane of course, so I shall just wear a poncho from here to LA to catch all her mess.
Distraction Quilt is ready. And no, those buttons will never come off. I’m not a good sewer - or a neat one for that matter – but those buttons are going nowhere.
Then my ambitions got far beyond my abilities and I made her a distraction book.
Clearly that is a lion. And a lollipop. Not that she has any idea what either of those things are.
No, that is not a black woman’s breast as my husband guessed. Obviously it is an ice cream. Although again, perhaps not a good choice as she doesn’t know what that is either.
That’s a nose, as if you can’t tell. And a nail.
Necklace and noodle and other easy things like that only just occurred to me.
That is cellophane stuck to the page in strips.
The book has a lot more pages than there are letters in the alphabet. So after I did the numbers I was really digging deep.
I’ve also got a couple of real books, made by professionals. Although they’re also ones that make noise, which could possibly royally piss off the people around us, and is why I’ve made them all disarm-them bags, to be given out as soon as we board. It’s hard to hate someone who gives you a gift.
They will be filled with chewing gum, lollies, earplugs and in the spirit of Australia, Anzac Biscuits.
I’ve got plenty of nappies, (no, we’re not taking the cloth ones. Can you imagine the stench of one of those babies by the time it gets to NYC. Talk about weapons of mass destruction) outfits, blankets, bibs, washcloths, and of course the requisite baby panadol. The adult version is a couple of stiff gin and tonics, my preferred in-flight beverage.
I’ve been tweeting with @QantasAirways who assure me no strikes are planned for Sunday, but have also probably red-flagged us to be moved up the back near the toilet.
Other than that, we’re just gonna wing it (ha ha) and hope for the best.
As long as she’s allowed to crawl up and down the aisle ad infinitum we should be ok.
If only we had our own private jet…