IF I WERE RICH I WOULD NEVER COVER MY QUILT AGAIN

If you were rich, you would never have to put the cover on your own quilt, you would have a maid to do it for you.

I pondered this today as I was doing just that, because I find a quilt necessary now that the world’s crappiest summer is over and we are officially in autumn.

Can you imagine if you could offload all the shit jobs to some other poor sucker?

Apart from the obvious stuff like cleaning, cooking and going to the Post Office, if I were rich I tell you what else I’d try to get out of doing:

·               Q’s nappies. Enough said.

·               Mending. Even a button. Especially a button.

·               Standing inline for bus tickets.

·               Filing receipts. Even the fact that they mean a deduction on my tax isn’t enough to make me enjoy that task.

·               Taking out the recycling. Jeez that’s annoying.

·               Tupperware sorting. (We now have a rule, no bottom can go in the cupboard without its top. Even Q knows how the system works).

·               Dusting the picture frames. How pathetic are dust mites?

·               And, of course, I would never, ever again make any phone calls to customer service operators. Yes, for the record, I am still at war with these Panda Bears of Humanity and it is really, really doing me in.