Monday, March 12, 2012


Panda Bears wandered down an evolutionary cul-de-sac and now they're stuck. 
They are – evolutionarily speaking – a waste of good bamboo.
Chris Packum of The Dailymail suggests we just let them die out.

It occurs to me, that customer service operators are the Panda Bears of humanity.
Totally useless human beings who are nothing more than oxygen thieves.

But before you have a go at me, I’m not being discriminatory, I feel this way about all customer service operators. Those in healthcare funds, superannuation funds, telecommunications…especially telecommunications. 
They’re all spectacularly unhelpful, infuriatingly vague and trained to PISS YOU OFF.
‘Is there anything else I can help you with?’
Anything else?
You didn’t help me in the first place.
Who trains these people?

Today I rang my healthcare fund and got a trainee, who was so maddeningly clueless she passed me over to her trainer.
The poor girl is doomed. It won’t be possible to learn a thing. Her trainer didn’t have any information to pass on.

I don’t start out annoyed. I never ring them when Q is awake, I make my cup of tea during the wait music, plug in my headphones so I can file my nails (a job I only ever get around to if I’m on the phone to customer service operators or on a long haul flight back to the US) and always have a sweet treat to take the edge off.

And yet, my good intentions are sabotaged. Every single time.
It’s extraordinary.

But I think I might have cracked their code - the only thing they’re ever taught.
Are you ready for it?
I think they’re taught to evade, avoid, deter and dodge…and then hope. 
Hope your tea has gone cold, you’ve run out of both your scotch finger biscuits and your patience, they’ve transferred you around the world enough times to get you motion sick, and then the clincher…that your baby awakes and you have to abort the issue 1 hour, 23 minutes and 16 seconds into it, with no resolution in sight.

Far worse than Pandas.
At least they’re lovely to look at.  


  1. Your blog has been added to my own favorities. Great post with lots of information. Thanks for this article.

  2. I could tell that we’re on the same interest and obsession. Good to know someone I could share my ideas. Looking forward to know and learn some more from you. . I make fun of been wonder wide this an eye to some beat now.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...