NO EXPECTATIONS

I have been rather tardy on my blogging, I apologise to my few loyal fans (my mother in law, my aunt, my aunt’s friend, family friend and anon) sometimes I manage a run but not a blog and that is not really quite good enough.  I often find that I’m not really quite good enough.  Don’t you?  In smaller tasks like getting all the laundry washed, folded and put away at once, returning friendly fire emails in a timely fashion and never running out of milk for tea and coffee.  But I like to be equalitarian in these things, and also manage to be not quite good enough in other more complex areas too.  Coming close to, but not landing the gig is one.  As is being told you’re writing is witty and clever but still not being picked up by a publisher.  I could also mention my inability to earn money as another.  Not because I don’t work hard, I do, very much so, but I haven’t exactly chosen well-paid careers to begin with

This sounds perilously close to me having a whinge but it’s not.  Honest.  If I can’t cope with the way things are I can easily go and change them.

The one thing that doesn’t matter if I’m not quite good enough is running.  Yesterday I ran the same run I always do seven minutes slower than usual but the only person that knows that is me and there isn’t a single person out there including me that cares one way or the other.  And that, my friends, is the ticket.  Find something that you love and never grow tired of, where the outcome doesn’t have any significance at all.  Baking, gardening (though I suppose you want a result from those) sewing or lawn bowls, for example.  Something that is just yours and just for enjoyment.  No expected return or result, just a pleasant way to pass some time hanging out with yourself.

That is why I run.