ARE HOROSCOPES & OLD-FASHIONED PARENTING MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE?

Miss Q was born in the last few hours of Scorpio land. Which means, according to the internet, that she is magnetic, elusive, sexy and determined. (And therefore, by the way, so am I).

Fair enough.

Magnetic – Yeah, ok, people seem stuck to her that’s for sure.

Elusive – Absolutely. Reasons for her behaviour often elude me.

Sexy – She’s 6 months old. That’s gross.

Determined – Damn straight.

But, say she’d stayed up there for another few hours (though there was no chance of that happening. Once she was on the move, nothing was stopping her) she would have been a Sagittarius instead.

In which case she would be confident, jovial and enthusiastic.

Confident – she seems to feel fairly secure in the world so far.

Jovial – It’s true. She thinks I’m very funny indeed.

Enthusiastic – Undoubtedly. You should see her sink her teeth into things. Literally.

So which one is she?

Does a few hours really make a difference?

Maybe she should spend the rest of her life saying she’s a Scortarius instead. A Sagio. A bit of a mix of both. Magnetically enthusiastic. Elusive, yet jovial about being so.

Don’t worry, I didn’t stop my research there. In an attempt to clarify things, I read up on her animal according to the Chinese calendar, but stopped when it said she was a tiger, a character prone to rashness and hesitation.

Surely she can’t be both.

And if she can, how the hell am I meant to parent that?????

So I decided to stick to a more traditional approach to raising my child and looked up old-fashioned parenting (on that not-so old-fashioned forum called the internet) and discovered several websites listing exactly that.

The five principles of old-fashioned parenting.

Except that each website had a different top five.

And now my brain hurts and my mother’s guilt is rearing its ugly head again as all this research makes me wonder if I’m actually up for this parenting gig at all.

I take several restorative breaths and conclude that if I calm down and consider things more logically, it would appear that the moral to this tale is to be very, very careful what you read on the internet.

Including this blog.