WE VISITED IKEA AND SURVIVED

The thing about moving into a one-bedroom apartment with three people is that you need to have excellent storage.

So yesterday Gregory, Miss Q and I went to IKEA.

All day long.

Seriously.

We got there before 11 and got home at 4.30.

It cost us 20 bucks in parking.

Each.

Because we had to borrow my mum’s car and take two cars as we had so much storage to buy in order to make three people living in a one-bedroom apartment remotely possible.

There were a couple of things working against us.

The flash flooding and torrential rain being one.

But that didn’t compare with discovering we’d lost the list that had all the measurements for the nooks and crannies we plan to store our life in. 

I maintain that Gregory left it in the mattress section, Gregory maintains he never had it in the first place and that I should stop blaming him. 
And then writing about it on a public forum.

Not being able to find the cars once we’d purchased our items and had a pram filled with crap, an 8kg baby in my arms and Gregory pushing a semi-trailer through the shopping centre didn’t help either.

I was convinced we’d parked on the orange floor but for some sadistic reason the morons who designed the car park have two floors coloured different shades of orange.

How do these people keep their jobs?

How do they get a job in the first place?

So then I was convinced we had parked on a floor that reminded me of a sunset, so off we went to the other orange floor – no cars – and then the yellow floor – still no cars.

Gregory had no recollection of parking the cars at all so was absolutely no help, but did, remarkably, manage to keep his use of the F-bomb to a minimum.

Eventually we found our cars on the green level, (nothing to do with sunsets at all as it turned out) and after an emergency breastfeed in the car park, we finally exited the building.

You’d think the best part of it all, was that we did it without a single fight – we even made out in the curtain section, behind a couple of ugly venetian blinds.

But no, the best part of all, is that one of the things we want - no, one of the things we need in order to fit all our crap into our little one-bedroom apartment is out of stock.

So we have to go back.