THERE'S A BATHROOM ON THE RIGHT.

I have our music on shuffle at the moment, and have just listened to Creedence Clearwater* sing about the ‘bad moon on the rise’, which reminds me of a story a friend of mine told me, about how his mum always thought they were singing ‘there’s a bathroom on the right.’

A couple of months ago, Q would finish her milk, then hold her cup out and moan at us, and we would say to her ‘would you like some more please?’

So now she thinks the word for milk is ‘more’ except she says ‘nore’ neither of which are right, but you can hardly blame the girl for trying can you?

I think learning a language must be one of the most difficult tasks to master in the whole world, and have a slight inferior complex because I seriously think I am missing that part of my brain. I did 4 years of German at highschool (it was either that or commerce and I’d rather shove a pin in my eye than learn about economics) and the only thing I learned was how long it took to get from Oxford Street (where we had coffee and raisin toast with the locals still out from the night before) back to school, thereby missing double German but not missing assembly.

That, and ‘um die ecke’ which means ‘round the corner’ which my Oxford Street accomplice and I tried using when we were in Germany many moons ago, but of course those show-off Europeans just replied in flawless English.

Arguably, if you’re only going to remember one phrase, ‘round the corner’ shouldn’t have been it.

I place anyone who speaks two languages on such a high pedestal I get a crick in my neck just looking at them. As for those prodigies who speak several, well really, they’re so clever they must be on the brink of discovering the cure to AIDS, climate change and city rail timetables.

But there's a part of me that think's everyone is just making it up. When I hear someone jabbering away in a foreign tongue, I’m convinced it's all a ruse.

‘There’s no way they’re actually saying real words,’ I think to myself in English. ‘It’s just jibberish.’

Which is probably why I never have a problem understanding my girl. It appears that despite 32 years difference in age and developmental ability, we are, in fact, on the same wavelength.

*Don't judge me too harshly. The next song was Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue.