Tuesday, February 28, 2012


This morning Q and I went to visit a dear friend who lives on the other side of Sydney. As the crow flies, it’s not that far, but as the Pacific Highway flies it’s a good 45 minutes.

45 minutes that Q chose to use to develop her lung capacity by screaming the entire way.

No joke. By the time we turned up her eyes were so red they were just about swollen shut. And she was so beside herself she couldn’t decide if she hated my guts or wanted cuddles from me to calm her down.

I, however, (because I am a perfect mother) stayed perfectly calm, kept up my medley of songs which eventually did nothing more than clash with the pitch of her screams, and considered ditching the car, putting on the hazards and walking Q the rest of the way there.
I dreaded the car trip home, but thankfully, after 15 minutes she fell asleep. 
Blessed sweet relief…until we get home and she woke upon transfer, whereupon I spent the next 20 minutes convincing her she needs to sleep for longer because her mother needs her to sleep for longer.
So then I make my cup of tea, my day-saving, dreamt of cup of tea, get out the packet of M and M’s I’ve got hidden in the cupboard…and drop them all over the floor.
Again I kept my cool, (which I think relates more to my level of fatigue rather than my ability to mediate my emotions) and assessed the situation.
Here were the mitigating factors:
*  The kitchen floor was cleaned last Thursday, and swept a couple of times in between.
*  We are mostly barefoot in the apartment, so no trace of dog poo was possible.
*  If I picked them up one by one instead of sweeping them into one pile, they would have less contact with the not-so-dirty-dog-poo-free floor.

And so that’s exactly what I did.
I picked those m and m’s up one by one.
And now I am eating them one by one, accompanied by my steaming hot cup of tea.

Judge me if you will, but these are desperate times my friends, desperate times indeed.

So go forth in your day, knowing that whatever your misdemeanours, there is someone out there eating chocolate off a dirty floor.
Although mine are pink & red because they're
a special Valentine's pack from my sister-in-law in the US.
The yanks do novelty celebrations way better than we do.
Glad to be of service. 


  1. Seriously Naoms, there are no rules when it comes to chocolate, anything goes! So don't feel bad - I eat food off our floor and it could be described as having been "mopped one Thursday last year!!!"

    And sometimes I eat food off the floor that my children have already chewed because I am just too tired to carry it to the bin.

    Mmmm, having read all of that it seems a little gross (amazing what you can rationalise when you are exhausted) so I think I'll leave this one anon.

  2. haaaaaaa. but i can guess who you are...and i love you just exactly that way! xx

  3. hahahahaha but perhaps you'll reconsider eating any food Q drops on the floor at my house : )

  4. you need to give me that recipe for slow cooker bread pudding. sounds DELISH! xx


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