Wednesday, September 14, 2011


Thanks a lot you inconsiderate bastard!!!
I had to take my wife to the hospital last night and because you’d PARKED IN FRONT OF OUR GARAGE I HAD TO TAKE HER IN ER INHEA TAXI.

This is the note my sister-in-law found taped to her car early Monday morning as she headed off to work.
It seems that when she’d parked her car the night before she’d rolled forward so as to avoid a NO STOPPING zone, failing to notice the private garage she completely blocked instead.

This after copping a $400 speeding ticket from a highway patrolman, who followed her for FIVE WHOLE MINUTES before she noticed the flashing lights in her rear vision mirror.

‘How did you not see me following you?’ the policeman asks, informing her that the conversation is being recorded so she should be careful what she says.
‘Well,’ my sister-in-law begins…and then she is off.

Now, I’m known amongst my friends as a bit of a conversation igniter, but I’ve got nothing on this lady, her talking skills are unparalleled, and before the policeman knew how it had happened, he was standing on the side of the road for twenty minutes listening to this cute Irish blonde talk about how she was dealing with a tough issue at work and had suddenly had a Eureka moment (yes she actually said that) and was nutting it out as she drove.

‘So are you just visiting then?’ the cute, young officer asks and everyone but my sister-in-law thinks he was trying to pick her up.
‘No, I’m out here on a de facto visa,’ she foolishly replies. 
(My brother later informing her that he’s willing for her to lie if it gets her out of paying another four-hundred dollar fine).
‘Oh,’ says the officer, but still he keeps his pleasant tone. ‘Well, here’s the ticket. But you could try and appeal it. Ring this number and tell them you were doing 80 in a 60 zone. Not the 110 in an 80 zone that I actually clocked you at.’

Thank you Australian Police Force.

And thank heavens my sister-in-law doesn’t yet have an Australian licence. Because if she did it would have been revoked and then she’d lose the job that caused her to speed in the first place, which would mean she wouldn’t have the four hundred dollars to pay for the ticket anyway.

What I love about this lady is her complete devotion to a topic to the exclusion of all else.

And what Gregory loves about her is that she took the pressure off him and his
$700 fines for running two red lights in two weeks.

What is it with these foreigners?

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