Thursday, July 21, 2011


For about twelve seconds (and largely because I ate an entire bucket of Ben and Jerry’s half-baked ice cream) I considered going for a run today.

It’s only rain – torrential to be sure – but it’s not going to make me melt. 
Although, as my brother pointed out, I could trip in a puddle and sprain my ankle and then we’d have me with a gammy foot and Gregory with his gammy back and both of us fighting for the sympathy card and that wouldn’t do at all. 

Largely because a slipped disc is going to trump a self-inflicted sprained ankle every time and I don't fancy doing all the chores and taking care of Miss Q with a big, fat cankle and no sympathy.

So instead, I did an indoor workout using household items, furniture and Miss Q as my ten kilo weight.

It's ok though people, I'm going to share, but where I reference Miss Q, replace with your own human or get the heaviest coffee-table book you can find, that ought to do the trick.

The cabin-fever Workout with a bit of help from Little Miss Q:

·               To begin, perform a couple of downward dogs with Miss Q lying underneath. She loves the angle of your face directly above hers, but beware, when she shoves a finger up your nose, you can’t use one of your arms to get it back out again. Ow.
·               Tricep dips off the table bench. Sit Q in your lap for some extra poundage.
·               Bench-press Q style. Bonus points for singing the grand old duke of York at the same time.
·               Incidental Exercise – put the load of nappies in the dryer and start the load of drenched towels being used to soak up the water from the leak in the roof.
·               The bicycle ab set with Q straddling your neck. Fine until she leans forward to pull your hair and cuts off your air supply.
·               Recover – fold one of the five loads of today’s laundry.
·               Bicep curls – lower and raise Miss Q alternating arms after sets of ten.
·               Obliques – sit on the bench with knees raised and feet on the ground and swivel Miss Q from one side to the other. The colours of the rainbow song works well here and gets you an extra bite of dessert.
·               Breath control – join in Miss Q’s conversation and respond to her babble with babble of your own.
·               Lunges, Squats, leg lifts – all can be done with Miss Q in arms or cheering on from underneath.
·               Cool down – lie on the floor and relax. Again, watch out for Q’s wandering fingers.

There you have it people. 
No excuse not to exercise, or at the very least a reason to justify your ice cream addiction. 

And given that this weather is set to continue for the next couple of days, this could be a more valuable blog than it at first appears.

Jeez, this sort of unrelenting, hour-by-hour, close proximity to each other thing could really start to get old. 
At least it's just the three of us.
I don’t know how the Irish catholics do it.

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